Is Your Thinking Getting in the Way of Your Happiness or Success?

Have you ever had this weird phenomenon happen to you?

You were thinking about an old friend you had not seen in a while, and then suddenly, you receive an email or a phone call from them.

This has happened to me too many times to count. And it doesn’t just happen with old friends showing up, it happens with items, too.

I have this favorite pair of earrings in the shape of a conch shell. I purchased them in the city of Santiago Spain, after completing a 10-day walk along the Portuguese pilgrims’ walk called the Camino de Santiago. These earrings held significant importance for me.

Some might think that I put too much importance on a simple pair of earrings. The thing is, they represented a major accomplishment in my life, a walking trek of 142 kilometers or 90 miles, and are therefore irreplaceable. If I were to lose them, it’s not like I can pop over to Spain and pick up another pair. Those earrings were more than an accomplishment. They played a role in reconnecting me with a spiritual experience I had on the Camino.

A year after the Camino, I was on a trip to California, and I wore my beloved earrings. I never took them off the entire trip because I was afraid of losing them. Each day throughout the trip, I found myself checking my earlobes to make sure both earrings were still there. The very last day of the trip my husband, Marvin, gave me a birthday gift of a necklace and matching earrings. Well, I just had to wear the ensemble to show my appreciation for his thoughtfulness. But you know what that meant – it meant that I had to remove my precious shell earrings.

I agonized over the decision to change my earrings out. I just kept thinking that if I took them off, I would lose them – a fate that would break my heart.

You’ve probably figured out where this story is going. If you have already concluded that I lost those treasured earrings, you are correct.

Heartbroken

Even though I thought I put them in a safe place, it must not have been safe enough. When I got back to San Antonio the earrings wear gone. As expected, I was heartbroken. How could something I was taking such care of, so easily go missing?

In desperation, I reviewed my steps that morning when I put them in the “safe place.” I remembered placing them in a small clear zippered bag. But what happened to the bag after that?

In the end, my thinking led to me losing the earrings. I was so focused on protecting against losing them that I created losing them as a reality. Focusing too much on avoiding a situation, a hurt, or a disappointment will bring it to you.

It’s okay to notice what you don’t want in your life as long as you observe it briefly. That’s what my friend Michael Losier says in his book Law of Attraction.

The key is to briefly notice what you don’t want and then ask yourself, what DO I want instead. In the earring situation, I wanted to continue wearing my Camino earrings throughout the end of the trip because I felt they helped me stay grounded. For me to have what I truly wanted would have only taken a brief explanation to Marvin. But that was not the choice I made – I didn’t choose to tell him what I wanted. Instead, my thinking messed things up and sabotaged my happiness. (Be sure to read to the end to get the rest of the earring story.)

Disruption to Success

Our thinking has a way of disrupting our success in business, too. Maria, a weight loss coach, complained to me that she was frustrated by the fact that the only people showing up in her business as potential new customers were people who could not afford to work with her. “I just don’t understand why I am attracting all these people who can’t or won’t pay for my weight loss program. It’s a good program and it works.”

I asked her to think over the events and situations of the past three weeks and tell me where she noticed a theme of scarcity. The events could be her own experiences, her friends, family, or in messages she received through media.

Maria thought silently for several minutes before she spoke. Then she listed out all the different scarcity messages she noticed. She mentioned several emails she had received for a workshop. Each one shouted that “time was running out. She must register or miss out.” She told me about how three potential clients she spoke with who said virtually the same thing, they couldn’t find the money right now. Her husband had asked her to hold-off on making any big purchases on the credit card until the monthly statement closed. That planted the idea that there was scarcity in the family budget. And to add one more topping to the pie, she mentioned that her best friend’s husband decided to quit his job. Scarcity was all around her. She couldn’t help but be focused on the idea of limited income and lack of funds. She experienced reminder after reminder.

You’ve probably seen the commercial on television promoting car repair warranties. They’re main message focuses on scaring you into believing that your car is about to breakdown and leave you stranded. I have a car that is just a few years old, and I was starting to think that I needed to purchase their insurance because I had heard the commercial so many times. Their message infiltrated my thinking and influenced my good judgment. I had let a negative message take hold in my mind, just like Maria did.

So, is your thinking getting in the way of your happiness or success?

The way to find out if your thinking is causing you problems is to review what has been showing up in your life over the past several weeks. What have you noticed?

• Have you noticed things coming to you that fit your desired outcome? Or results that are less than ideal?
• Have you noticed that you are constantly getting the grumpy customer service representative when you ask for help?
• Do you get the impatient waitress or sad server at your local restaurant?
• Have you noticed that people are never in the office when you are following up on sales calls?
• Are you noticing that you have been catching more red traffic lights than green while on the road?

The outcomes that you experience are indicators of where you are placing your attention. If you focus is on avoiding something negative, you are attracting that negative thing to you. Like energy attracts like. What you focus on will appear – that’s the Law of Attraction.

If you are ready to attract more of what you desire, contact me. That is what I do. I work with high-achieving, goal-driven, committed, and coachable people to focus their energy and mindset on creating outrageous results.

The Missing Earrings – Found!

Now, the follow up on the missing earrings. Two and a half years after the earrings went missing and were presumed lost forever, they turned up. For many months after I had lost them, I felt sad every time I looked in my jewelry box and they were not there. Then finally one day I started thinking about them in another way. I thanked them for the joy they brought me. I focused on the joy I received wearing them when I had them. And I thought that there might be a slim chance I could find some that were similar on the internet, but I never researched it.

Then one day, I was looking through some extra jewelry bags that I had stored in a drawer. I needed a bag for a gift. And there they were, sitting in the palm of my hand. My heart leaped with joy. I believe that my happy memories and thoughts of them are what ushered them back into my life. There is the Law of Attraction at work again in my life. It’s working in your life, too.

Your Law of Attraction

Tell me where you have seen the Law of Attraction work in your life. I’d love to read your story. Message or email me directly. I might be able to use your story in one of my future blogs – with your permission, of course. 😊

Have a positively attractive day.