Emotional Resiliency is A Learned and Earned Life Skill

When Pinot, my 13-year-old Shih Tzu, passed away this time last year, I was devastated and emotionally fragile. After about two months of grieving, I summoned my best friend, Google, and began to look at puppies. I’m not at all sure what made me do that, but all of a sudden, I was obsessed. I HAD to find, not just any puppy, but the perfect puppy.

I spent countless hours with Google searching and researching the ideal puppy. My family was shocked that I wanted a new puppy so quickly after the devastation of losing my beloved Pinot. But I wasn’t replacing Pinot. I wanted to fill the hole he left in my heart when he passed. I wanted – no, I needed – to repair that hole quickly. I had become hooked on the unconditional love I received from my connection with Pinot. He taught me so much, and I know he was preparing me, towards the end, to carry on without him.

I did carry on. I found the most adorable breed, Bordoodle, the perfect breeder and the most incredible puppy ever. His name is Milo. He fills my heart with infinite love every day. He also demands a lot of my attention and has an affinity for chewing up wicker baskets. He’s exactly what Pinot would have wanted for me.

How was I able to be so resilient? Training. Through my coaching practice, I promote what I call “above-the-line living” when it comes to emotions. I equate emotions with vibrational frequencies. Think about it, the emotion of sadness feels low and slow compared to the emotion of joy, which feels high and light. The thing to remember is that the higher the vibrational frequency, the lighter you feel physically, emotionally, and mentally. That vibrational quality is what we strive for – the experience of feeling light, bright, and vibrant.

That vibrational frequency of light and bright is how Pinot made me feel, but I was lower than a snake’s belly after he passed. However – and here’s the point – because I practice living my life in the higher frequencies, I was uncomfortable in that low, slow place. Don’t get me wrong, I needed to be sad over the loss, but I didn’t have to stay there. And I didn’t want to stay there.

By maintaining emotions that are on the higher end of the frequency scale, I can experience greater resilience when adverse situations occur. It does take practice and consciousness of emotions. Personal experience, observation, and working one-on-one with hundreds of people to master their emotions has proven that we have the capacity and responsibility to live in the higher frequencies.

The image above is my emotions hierarchy chart to help you visualize the emotions and their vibrational frequencies that I’m describing. Take a moment to check in with your own emotions to see where you fall on the chart. Are you above or below the line?

If you want to read more about becoming emotionally resilient, check out my book, Emotional Self-Mastery, which will be a great resource.