You know this person. She thinks highly of herself. She’s super confident in her abilities, ready to lead, and she walks as if on air.
Why do you think she’s like this?
I’ll bet you know this person, too. She’s quiet and apologetic. She is not at all self-confident. She would rather not be in the spotlight.
Why do you think she’s like this?
Person 1 is confident because she tells herself she’s awesome. Person 2 is not confident because she tells herself she’s a failure.
We are what we think we are.
Earl Nightingale, known as an “extreme” motivational radio speaker, and author during the 1950s, coined the statement, “We become what we think about.” Nightingale grew up in a tent city in California, joined the Marines as a teenager, and was aboard the USS Arizona during the bombing on Pearl Harbor. He and 14 other Marines survived.
In his twenties, Nightingale was inspired by the book, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. From this book, Nightingale’s famous statement was born, and he finally had the awareness he had been looking for; your thoughts train your brain.
When we think positive, uplifting, appreciative thoughts, they are reflected in our words and actions. Conversely, when we dwell on disappointment, frustration, and lack, that is what we get. We get what we focus on. It’s called a “mindset.” And we all have one.
What we think about and what we are told often becomes embedded in our subconscious mind and forms our mindset. The subconscious mind has no filter to differentiate facts from fiction or present reality from a made-up reality. It just takes in what is it’s offered and makes it true in your subconscious mind.
Therefore, if you were told as a child that you were bad or would never amount to much, you might have difficulty accomplishing your goals. But, if you were raised by parents who told you that you were beautiful, strong, and could become whatever you choose to be as long as you applied yourself, you would find it easier to succeed.
We all have mindsets that are either fixed or growth-oriented. A fixed mindset refers to someone who believes that their skills, abilities, and talents are limited. They think that there is little possibility of making a significant change in their lives. (person 2)
A growth mindset is just the opposite. Those with a growth mindset believe they “can do” just about anything. They learn new information to improve their intelligence. They develop new skills to strengthen their abilities. (person 1)
Nightingale could have made a choice to move through life as a victim of his experiences in childhood and young adulthood. His mindset could have been one of being stuck in the life he was born to, living in a tent. No father figure. Poor. Once he was aware that his own thoughts were the only thing limiting him, the sky was the limit.
This concept didn’t begin with Nightingale. Long before he became aware, others were speaking about our thoughts influencing our outcomes. The Bible talks of it in Proverbs 23:7; “As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.” Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius (121-180 AD) is known for saying, “We become what we think about.” Even before that, Chinese philosopher and writer Lao Tzu (sometime during the 4th-century b.c.) is quoted as saying, “Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
All of these wise men make it clear that it is a choice – a choice to live in a finite, limited, or fixed mindset or an ever-expanding growth mindset. Once we realize it’s a choice and then identify the internal thoughts that negatively influence our outcomes, we can choose to change our thinking.
But how? How do we change our thoughts to be more supportive and growth-oriented? Stay tuned for part II of You Are What You Think, where I will give you the techniques that worked for me and hundreds of my clients.
