Part one of Mindset explained that a mindset is a series of beliefs we hold, consciously or subconsciously, which determine our results in life. There are two types of mindset; fixed and growth. We took a little survey to determine what type we have and realized that we can have both, depending on the topic. We discovered that a growth mindset is one that allows us more opportunities to live into our full potential, whereas a fixed mindset can keep us stuck in patterns of negativity.
Part two is about the tools and techniques you can use to change from a fixed to a growth mindset.

Click here for complete show notes.

Emotional Self Mastery Podcast
Mindset Part 2-
How to Change Your Fixed Mindset

Part 2
Part one of Mindset explained that a mindset is a series of beliefs we hold, consciously or subconsciously, which determine our results in life. There are two types of mindset; fixed and growth. We took a little survey to determine what type we have and realized that we can have both, depending on the topic. We discovered that a growth mindset is one that allows us more opportunities to live into our full potential, whereas a fixed mindset can keep us stuck in patterns of negativity.

Part two is about the tools and techniques you can use to change from a fixed to a growth mindset.

-Acknowledge and embrace imperfection.
The imperfection in yourself and the world around you can drive you nuts.
As a business communications trainer I typically made handouts for my workshops. Inevitably there would be typos-insignificant ones-but there was always someone in the audience who would razz me about my errors.  In fact, there were a couple of instances where a participant would actually circle the typo and hand it to me at the end of the presentation. Ugggg. That took me back to high school English class! My English teacher had a field day with my papers. There were always red marks all over them. That caused me to be super embarrassed about the mistakes and I would strive harder and harder and put lots of pressure on myself to make sure every word was there, spelled correctly and in the right order.  I’ve eventually learned to embrace that I’m going to make mistakes. I’ve decided that if my ten page handouts have 3-4 mistakes, that’s good for me. The truth of the matter is; we need to embrace the fact that we all have imperfections and we can’t be perfect all of the time.

-Reframe it.
When something doesn’t go the way you planned or visualized it, reframe it. See it from a different point of view. It may not have been perfect, but it was probably fine from the customer or the participant’s point of view. When you see it from their perspective and it looks good, that’s all that matters.

The red pen story reframed may have looked very different had I seen it as time to hire an editor to look over my handouts before my presentations.  The truth of the matter is that I can’t be all things to all people. I can’t be the speaker, the creator, the editor-I can’t do all of it and do it well.

-Pay Attention to the words you say to yourself.
Far too often we make statements like “that will never happen for me”, or “why do I always get the short straw?” or “things never work out the way I want them to”. If we repeat those thoughts over and over again-to ourselves or aloud to others- it anchors those beliefs in our mind. It tells our subconscious brain to bring us more of the same. Our subconscious brain doesn’t know the difference between fact and fiction. It doesn’t know how to separate what you want and what you don’t want. It just hears that “things never turn out the way I want them to”. So it says, “oh, let’s give her more of things that don’t turn out the way she wants them to”. That’s self-sabotage and your subconscious brain is in on the game.

We need to be aware of when we say or think about things that keep us from having what we really want. We need to replace them with the positive side of what we want to create in the world.

Repeating, “I’m a failure”, anchors in your mindset that you are, in fact, a failure. That mindset puts you in the position to fail. Then you have the energy of a victim, which attracts others who feel like victims. And then you find yourself surrounded by negative people. That’s not healthy.

-Be Real. Be your authentic self.
Do you know who you are on the inside? The truth is, you are perfect the way you are. Who you were meant to be when you came upon this earth. What others think of you doesn’t matter. You need to be who you are.

Example. I spent many years in a place of not feeling accomplished. I would compare myself to others and didn’t feel like I measured up. I was continuing to pretend to be somebody else. It wasn’t until I got really real with myself that I could see that small group and individual coaching are what I am best at and what I enjoy most. I realized it was where I could make the biggest impact on the world. But it took me getting real with myself so I could change my mindset.

-Stop worrying about approval from others.
Parents, siblings, co-workers, managers, spouses, children.
You are perfect like you are if you are working at your best. When you worry about getting approval from others, you are giving your personal power away. That means that your value is dependent on what someone else thinks of you. Let that sink in.
If someone is having a bad day and thinks negatively of you, your value is tainted.
But that’s not who you are.
You are giving your personal power to someone else when you let them determine who you are.
You have more value in being your authentic self than you can ever gain from anyone else’s opinion.

When that stuff comes up and you feel like you need someone else’s approval, use my ever popular technique, Cancel, cancel, that’s not the truth. The truth is___________.
When you have the thought that you don’t measure up, you say, “Cancel, cancel. That’s not the truth. The truth is, I am perfect as my authentic self.”

Using weight as an example. If you have struggled with weight issues, you might say to yourself, “Uggg. I’m never going be at my ideal weight.” When you hear yourself say that is when you say, “Cancel, cancel. That’s not the truth. The truth is my ideal weight is not a number. It’s the way my clothes fit and how I feel. If I feel flexible and strong, I may be at my ideal weight. If I dress up and feel like a knock-out, I may be at my ideal weight.”

But, we have to be real with ourselves.  If it is something that is too far out of reality, your subconscious brain will not accept it.

What do you do when you suspect that you may have a fixed mindset about a topic, but you aren’t sure what that mindset is or how to change it?
That’s when you need an objective person to help you see what is in your “blind-spot”. They can help free you from it.

That’s the kind of work I do. I work with individuals and small groups to identify the mindsets that are holding them back. Then, we work together to neutralize that mindset so it no longer has influence over their thoughts and behaviors. When that happens, the individual or team are ready to take bold action. A team can only be successful when they acknowledge and remove the beliefs that are holding them back.

If you have someone on your team with limiting beliefs, they are actually sabotaging the entire team. Our thoughts are energy and that energy goes out to everyone on the team, undermines their efforts and doesn’t bring them forward.

When you learn to recognize and release your fixed mindset about certain topics, you’ll be setting yourself up for success so you can live your best life!

Recap

  • Embrace the imperfections of yourself and the world around you.
  • Reframe your story from a negative to a positive and see it from another point of view
  • Pay attention what you say to yourself
  • Be real and honest with yourself about what you really like and want to do instead of what other people think you should do (YUK-the “should” word!)
  • Stop needing the approval of others and accept yourself as being perfect just the way you are

If you want to talk more about mindset, connect with me on LinkedIn (Cheryl C Jones) or email me at: Cheryl@SimplyTheBestResults.com

Cheryl C Jones is a speaker, author, mind-set coach and podcast host who works with individuals and corporate work teams to quickly get to the issues inhibiting them from reaching their goals, overcome the issues and achieve real success.
Cheryl@SimplyTheBestResults.com
www.SimplyTheBestResults.com
Facebook: Simply The Best Results
LinkedIn: Cheryl C Jones
210-545-2378

Podcasts:
Getting Simply The Best Results
Emotional Self-Mastery

Author of:
Emotional Self-Mastery
The Best Book on Regaining
Personal Power, Self-Confidence and Peace
Available on Amazon

To book a one-on-one coaching session with Cheryl, email her at:
Cheryl@SimplyTheBestResults.com

Kathi Holzschuher is a marketing strategist, content writer and podcast producer.
She works with Cheryl C Jones as marketing manager and podcast producer.
Kathi@SimplyTheBestResults.com
Facebook: Kathi Holzschuher
LinkedIn: Kathi Holzschuher
210-393-3906

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