Last week we defined the Impostor syndrome and explored the financial and emotional costs involved with not getting it resolved.
To recap, Impostor Syndrome is defined as a psychological pattern in which an individual questions their skills, abilities, talents, or accomplishments. It causes the person to have self-doubt and to internalize the fear of “being found out” or exposed as a “fraud” -as something other than as they presented themselves. Those who experience Impostor Syndrome (IS) have difficulty internalizing their accomplishments.
When you internalize your accomplishments, you fully recognize and accept your role in making it happen. You know that it was not by chance or luck that you achieved the result. You achieved it because you did the work to make it happen.
Here’s the thing, IS shows up as a little voice inside your head listing the reasons you should not take action. My little voice says unhelpful things like, “You’re not ready for that”, “Who are you kidding? You are not all that”, “What makes you think you know what you’re talking about?”.
I like to call that little voice by her initials, SDB, for Self-Defeating Brat. I cleaned her title up a bit for our listening audience. The “B” actually has a different word associated with it.
What I can tell you is, SDB used to have a lot of power over me and how I felt about myself. Listening to her question me and challenge me just wore me down. It was really difficult to power through her negativity.
Have you experienced the voice of an SDB in your life?
I’d like to take you through a little recall exercise.
Think about a time in your professional or personal life where you heard that internal voice discourage you from taking the next step forward toward something you wanted.
It might have been an opportunity to apply for a new position. Maybe it was a higher paying job or applying for a promotion. What did your internal voice say to you? Did it waffle back-and-forth? One minute saying, “Go for it! You’re qualified!” and the next saying, “No don’t go for it. You’re not qualified enough.”
Of course, you might have experienced that negative inner voice in a personal situation. Perhaps you were single and wanted to get to know someone a little better in hopes you could start a relationship. But you never reached out to the person because the inner voice told you that you might get rejected.
So, what was the situation for you? What did your negative inner voice say to you?
Co-host Kathi Holzschuher shares her story.
Before working with Cheryl, I had a 30 year career in the travel industry. Once I retired, I wanted to fulfill my life-long desire to write. But my SDB said; “What? You have no talent. Your writing is just ok. No one cares what you have to say”.
So, I didn’t even try for a while.
Cheryl’s story – a number of years ago I was asked to speak to a group of attorneys. The attorney who hired me asked me to weave the importance of recording billable hours and a few other key points. He wanted the audience to hear from someone other than himself. My topic was on customer service and although his request was not significantly outside that scope of what I was speaking on, it felt a little awkward.
The day came for the presentation. And as I tried to sound like I was familiar with the legal profession, I felt like a total phony. My mind literally had two audio tracks running parallel inside my head, as I delivered my presentation.
The 1st audio track was the content I planned to say. The other was, my good friend – SDB – reminding me of how little I knew about the legal industry and that I was faking it.
Having two audio tracks running in my mind was driving me crazy. As I was presenting, I was got distracted by the negative conversation.
Ultimately, nothing too terrible happened, but I know I could have been more present with the audience and done an even better job had that second voice in my head kept quiet.
The cost of this Experience was more emotional than financial.
Emotional in the sense that, it caused me to question my ability and the value of my presentation. That emotion of doubt got stuck in my subconscious.
Here’s what happens for each of us.
Our interpretation of an experience gets lodged in our subconscious. Both positive experiences and negative. However, the negative experiences tend to carry a bigger emotional charge to them than the positive.
You have an experience – like my attorney story. Then you have a perception or an assessment about that experience (I’m not qualified).
And because I had doubtful thoughts about it, it caused me to question myself. And that had the emotional impact of me not feeling worthy. And that belief of unworthiness became lodged in my subconscious.
That’s a difficult place to be, having your past challenging experiences influence your future experiences.
But none of us has to live with the influences of our false beliefs. We can change them.
Today’s Podcast is sponsored by my book, Emotional Self-Mastery, The Best Book on Regaining Personal Power, Self-Confidence, and Peace.
In this book you’ll find more techniques that will help you reclaim your personal power and build your self-confidence. It will also teach you how to regain control over your negative thoughts and emotions, so that you are no longer influenced by them.
Find Emotional Self Mastery, the book on Amazon, and you can download the 1st chapter for free at www.simplythebestresults.com You’ll find it under the book tab.
What can you do to stop feeling like phony?
I have two suggestions to help you get past it.
#1-Recognize your accomplishments.
Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of just how awesome we are. One of the best ways to get a morale boost to start overcoming feelings of phony-ness is to make a list of your accomplishments-kind of like you are updating your resume, only not as formal.
Write everything down. Include both personal and professional accomplishments. And don’t distinguish between the items you accomplished alone and those that you accomplished as part of a team. Include volunteer work, pet rescue-put it all in there.
What is important here is to acknowledge is that you are not the sum of your accomplishments. Your value does not come them.
You were born without self-doubt and without fear. You did not come upon this earth with any experience of phoniness or falsehood. These are concepts and beliefs that your conscious mind created. Since you created these false beliefs, you can be uncreate and destroy them too.
Making a list is just a starting point for you to recognize and own what you’ve been able to do so far.
#2-Access Consciousness Statement
Any time you feel like a phony, have thoughts that make you feel inadequate, or a low vibration emotion like fear or insecurity; you can use this phrase to destroy and uncreate it.
This simple process requires that you 1st get an idea of the emotion or thought that you would like to release. Or that inner voice statement that makes you feel less than whole.
Once you’ve identified the thought or the emotion, all you need to do is place it in this phrase to uncreate and destroy it.
Here’s how I could have used this technique when I worked with the attorneys. However, I didn’t know this technique at that time.
The emotions I was experiencing were: inadequacy and not knowledgeable enough. The thought that went through my head was, “I can’t possibly know what their work lives are like. Why would they listen to me?”
This is how the phrase would have sounded, had I used this technique back then.
Anywhere I’ve adopted the belief that I don’t know what it’s like to be in attorney and I can’t possibly understand it or speak to their needs, I choose to destroy and uncreate this belief across all dimensions, directions, lifetimes, levels, layers, planes, time, space, and reality now; without any healing crisis, discomfort, drama, or delay at all. Good, bad, right, wrong, POD, POC, all 9 shorts, boys, and beyond. And, so it is!
This simple phrase would have destroyed and uncreated the thought that I had that I was not enough and didn’t understand their industry. That’s because it was all made up to begin with. So, I have the power to undo it!
To try this phrase out for yourself, be sure to check out the show notes for this podcast where we will have the phrase listed so that you can use it immediately.
Be sure to let know how this technique works for you on our Facebook Group Page – Emotional Self-Mastery Podcast. This is a place to exchange ideas and get your feedback on how things are working for you.
This technique has done wonders for me and I still use it regularly.
For more tips and information about IS, check out my blog from this week.
If you are feeling mentally overwhelmed, exhausted, irritable, sad, anxious, or like an impostor, don’t try to muddle through it. Set an appointment with me. In 30 minutes we will get to the SDB inside YOU and create 3 action steps to feeling better. It’s only $50 for my listeners.
You deserve to feel optimistic, positive and powerful because that’s who you are!
Schedule a 30 Minute Discovery Session with Cheryl
Special pricing for podcast listeners-$50/30 Minutes.
This podcast is available on all major platforms:
Cheryl C Jones is a facilitator, author, mind-set coach and podcast host who works with individuals and corporate work teams to quickly get to the issues inhibiting them from reaching their goals, overcome the issues and achieve real success.
- Emotional Self-Mastery: The Best Book on Regaining Personal Power, Self-Confidence and Peace
- 90 Companion Journal
Both available on Amazon
Kathi Holzschuher is a marketing strategist, content writer and podcast producer.
She works with Cheryl C Jones as marketing manager and podcast producer.
Facebook: Kathi Holzschuher
LinkedIn: Kathi Holzschuher
Access Consciousness Statement:
Repeat out loud and enjoy the inner peace that results.
Anywhere I’ve adopted the belief that _(Fill in the blank)__, I choose to destroy and uncreate this belief across all dimensions, directions, lifetimes, levels, layers, planes, time, space, and reality now; without any healing crisis, discomfort, drama, or delay at all. Good, bad, right, wrong, POD, POC, all 9 shorts, boys, and beyond. And, so it is!